User Profile

if you don't lead a life like mine, i will look down on you
get your ass into college and take it one day at a time
everything your parents told you is true, you're just too stubborn to believe it
don't let people know you're smart unless you have to
join a gym, but don't go and get the phone number of everyone you meet
brag about your social skills then put them to good use
party until seven in the morning - then do it again the next night
if rikki is carrie, thn i am samantha
yuppie is a compliment, not a derogatory word my friends use against me
straight edge is an addiction to anti-addiction
find yourself a lover...then find two more
call yourself a writer, but don't let anyone read your work
hang out at the hipster coffee shop, it will give you a sense of reputation and regularity
surround yourself with people you feel inferior to, it will make you strive to be a better person
label your food - your roommates will eat it anyway
don't turn down anything anyone offers, it's rude to decline generosity
if you forget to bring your camera to a party, hang out with the only person who has one
every song should be "your song" with someone else
trust people when you first meet them and second guess your friends
every rumor you have ever heard or spread is true, it just depends on how you look at it
spend your money and don't keep track of it
if you don't remember how you spent it, you know you had a good time
use business jargon in every conversation and emulate the actors on television
stop hanging out with people who don't understand your sense of sarcasm
finally, create a facebook account and ween yourself off of this website
nothing is more important to me than my dogs:
rio, a female chihuahua, and teddy, a male pomeranian